What I’m afraid of is…

Hey lovelies, Chelsea here to talk about something a little more personal and serious: fears. So here goes.

It doesn’t matter how old or young you are, fear exists in us all. Granted the number of fears and how we handle them vary.

Honestly, I’m made of fears. Not just things like the dark or heights, common ones. It’s all the bigger, more mind crumbling fears: not being good enough. I’m afraid of fear itself. It’s not people I’m afraid of either, it’s myself and my mind. I don’t want to be all dark and depressing but I want to be honest and open up. Because these kind of fears aren’t uncommon at all, we all have our moments when we feel so inadequate and are afraid that won’t change.

Honestly I wish I knew how to keep my chin up everyday and say “I’m not afraid” or even better “I’m afraid but I’m not going to be crippled by it” because fear isn’t exactly bad. What makes it awful to your health and life is letting your fears override everything, letting them hold you back. That’s how it is and has been for me. One of the reasons why I’d like to have this blog and reach out to people is to have a small community, a group of people to share my experiences with and step out of my Comfort zone and find new, fun things to do that I missed out on from a sheltering mother and from my own fears stopping me.

It’s never easy to break out of something you’ve become accustomed to. Your shell. Your personal prison if you will. You know that whole it’s better in the hell you know and are used to than some strange heaven you’ve never experienced. That’s what it’s like for me. I get trapped in my fears and depression and anxiety and sometimes I don’t want them to go away, don’t want my mind and body issues to disappear, because then what? Hell yeah I’d be more free in so many ways and be able to live but holy crap that can be terrifying.

I know I’m not alone on that. That’s part of why Syd and I have this blog. So our lives aren’t that exciting and never really have been but we’re working on it. We want to document it, share things with people, have people give us tips and ideas and feedback. A place that we can have as like a pusher, to make sure we hold ourselves accountable if that makes sense.

These fears are deep rooted and it’s tough. I’m trying my hardest to keep going with them holding me back. Pull out of the grip even if it only gets me a step forward. Every bit of effort matters, I have to remember that.

If you’re afraid of spiders or afraid of not being good enough, getting honest about why is a start. Think about why and when they came to be. Strategize, start off small, on ways to not get over it, not yet, but be able to handle what you’re afraid of better, without crying. Ya know? Talk to yourself about it, really think hard. Trust in a friend or family member.

Fears are inevitable. That’s the sad truth. However, being afraid doesn’t mean you can’t live. Make your fears put you out there.  Motivation.

I’m preaching (I know it’s all easier said than done, trust me) and I’m finding it hard to follow what I’m preaching. I’m trying. Not always, I’ll be honest. Some days I’m like “nope”. But,  better to hide and not try four out of five times than five out of five. That I know is true. That I know is progress even if it hasn’t gone to three of out of five. It’s a start.

-Xoxo Chelsea.

Comment below and tell us about your fears and how you overcome them. If you want more privacy and a longer space to vent, shoot us an email (morethanexisting23@gmail.com) just put “Fears” in the subject and we’ll get back to you asap. You’re here for us, reading what we post and that isn’t going to go unreturned.

Have a lovely day. Thank you for reading be sure to comment and like. I send hugs today and everyday.

P.s.s. if you want to Snapchat mine is chelseaarianna2 and Syd’s is Sydney159

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