Hey everyone, it’s Sydney! So, today I thought talk about something a bit more personal than just makeup. I do have a few things to talk about that are makeup related too at the end of this post.
Towards the end of 2016, like many others I reflected on the year and tried to come up with resolutions. Thinking about boys and being in a relationship inspired this slight change in mindset for 2017 that applies to not only this situation but every one. I decided I wanted to be open to new situations and opportunities.
I’ve always been single and avoided relationships. I was just never interested and thought it to be too much work. But, time has passed and I’m getting older and I’ve decided that I want more for myself. I started thinking about how I don’t always want to be single. I’m not lonely but I don’t want to be alone forever, if that makes sense. I’m still not entirely sure if I want to be in a relationship right now. However, I knew I would need to make a change if I ever wanted to be in one. Like I said, I avoided relationships and boys in general, so I would need to start being open to people approaching me and not rejecting everyone.
Being open to opportunities is the best balance for me right now, I think. I’m no longer closed off, at least I’m trying to be. Especially with always avoiding people, I knew reaching out and chasing people and opportunities down would be way too much for me. I don’t think I’d be able to handle the stress and anxiety of all that. I came to the realization that you may miss out on some things if you don’t go chase things down, but you’ll miss every thing if you hide away. So, I may not be the one opening any doors for myself, but, I’m okay with having them opened and won’t be avoiding them.
On the topic of boys, since I was open to opportunity I actually gave out my number to someone who asked instead of instantly rejecting them. Rejecting people and saying no is like second nature to me, it’s my automatic response. We went on a date which is something I definitely never do, but I had a nice time. I don’t really know what is going on with this whole situation now, it’s kinda stressful. I don’t really know how I feel or how to feel about this whole situation.
Dealing with new situations have just given me lots of anxiety. Most of January I was quite anxious. Now I feel rather apathetic, which is more normal for me. My feelings and emotions about everything, not just boys, have kinda been all over the place. Ultimately, there’s been no real change in my life so far this year, but there’s a lot more time left in this year. And I’m still trying to figure out how I feel and what I want. All I know is that it’s good to do new things and be open minded. You should get out of your comfort zone and experience new things or else your world will stay small and dull.
Let’s talk makeup now. I’ve been very uninspired lately and am completely disconnected from sharing my makeup on social media. Its been 2 months since I posted on Instagram and even longer from here and YouTube. Winter has been a big reason for all this. There’s too little light for too short of time for me to record videos, not that I have the motivation for that right now. For now, I definitely won’t be recording any YT videos, maybe come spring or summer I’ll change my mind. Work has been another reason. I do my makeup before work and with working at a further away store I have like no time to take pictures of my makeup. I always took forever getting ready and rarely left myself with more than a few minutes of time to take pics. But when my commute is at least 3 times as long as it used to be I have no time at all for getting the camera out. The few times I managed to get the camera out or had time to take photos they all sucked because the lighting this winter is just awful. The last few times I posted on IG, I really had to force myself to and that’s just not fun. I changed my IG name in an effort to make it less makeup focused. I’ve posted a few random selfies recently cause I liked my makeup and took some pics. I don’t want makeup to be the only reason for a post though, I’m not gonna have extensive product lists or hashtags anymore. I want to be more free and fun with my posts. I do still want to talk about makeup on here though, so don’t worry about that.
So, I think that’s all I have to say for now. I’m just gonna continue to be open and go with the flow and see what happens. And I’m excitedly awaiting warmer weather and better lighting for going on adventures with Chelsea and taking more photos. Here’s to being more fun, free, and creative this year.
Thanks for reading!