Hey lovelies, we all know one of the greatest joys that comes with being a lady is having blood come out of your you-know-where every damn month. Syd and I both have heavy periods with bad cramps that are everywhere. Here are some things we do and us to make it more bearable, ease our cramps, and help us hold onto some bit of sanity.
Nothing works better for us than Always Infinity Pads! Sure we can, and do, bleed right through them sometimes, however, they are so much more comfortable and more absorbent than any other pads we’ve tried in the past.
Syd and I always use Always (: See what I did there? Yeah, I could use some how to be funny and clever lessons!
I usually can’t go to sleep (unless I pass out while watching TV late at night) without lying on my back. Yeah, eff me, right? Well, to help from soaking through my clothes and sheets, I make sure to use long, overnight pads and lay on top of an old towel. I highly suggested using one not just at night, but during the day whether you’re on the couch or just chilling in bed–No more bloody sheets!
Dark and black pants are my favorite no matter what and they come in handy when the week of bloody hell comes–that’s what I’ve been calling it lately. Helps hides stains! And when you do stain your clothes or sheets, wash them as soon as damn possible so you can get the blood out! Cold water, bleach, hydrogen peroxide, and baking soda are all things that can help!
Heating pads and hot water bottles are beautiful things ladies. When I’m on m period, I feel like there’s a boxer inside my uterus with boxing gloves made with knives–a weird version of Freddy Krueger. As for Syd, someone’s trying to break her damn back. So we pop some ibuprofen and add some heat to the pain. Just keep in mind not to keep a heating pad on your body for more than twenty minutes at a time.
Besides heat and pain meds, you can try cutting out caffeine and alcohol. Yeah, I know, when it comes to this bloody hell week, all you want is to drink up. But don’t! Stick to water and lots of it, ladies. Also, avoid smoking, especially cigarettes.
Vitamin D, calcium, dark chocolate, yogurt, spinach, and bananas all help either relieve cramps, muscle pain, headaches, and possibly any bloating!
Oh, and speaking of bloating: I have a serious problem with tummy bloating whether it’s the time of the month or not. One way to help is to reduce your sodium/salt intake! The sooner the better. So if you know you’re period is coming in a few days, take out as much salt in your diet as you can. Sorry. I know it sucks. I am only trying to help, promise. Don’t let Satan convince you to do evil 😛
I love to close the blinds, get it dark, and light some candles. If you haven’t tried it, make sure you spend your next bloody hell week with some candles. Lavender would be the best scent. Very calming and soothing. And when night comes, try putting a few drops of lavender essential oil on your pillow to fall asleep faster and have a better nights sleep.
The last thing any of us want to do is get out of bed when we’re on our periods. But yoga and/or some light exercise–walking, some running, a bit of HIIT–is proven to help ease cramps and relax you. Try fifteen or twenty minutes 1-3 times a day to help with the pain. You know, good for your body and mind.
Ladies, make sure you take the time to curl up in a ball. Turn on Netflix or a good movie, wrap a blanket around yourself and hug a fuzzy, soft pillow or stuffed animal. Or a friend or significant other.
When I was with my boyfriend (he was my first and we were together for close to a year–i’m working on a post to further explain this and how to deal with breakups) he was great when it came to this. He let me vent, offered to get me junk food and come over to cuddle. Now that he isn’t around (and when he was busy at work and couldn’t come cuddle) I hold this plush, stuffed purple unicorn he gave me. His name is Orchid and is one the best gifts I’ve ever gotten. (I love unicorns, especially if they’re purple. Don’t ask why.)
Now, if your man or any other friend or loved one doesn’t offer to help you and gives you shit for having your period, kick his or her ass to the curb. Threaten to drench them in your blood. Nothing will scare the shit out of them and make them run for the hills for sure.
Menstruation sucks so damn much and we don’t want it, but it’s natural and we can’t end it because we want to. Men have to deal with this as well. Either they support you and understand or they can take a hike to their own hell and make sure they educate themselves on the way.
And lastly, keep track of your period as best as you can. They have apps for it you can get on your phone. Use a calendar or write it in your notes on your phone. Keeping track of when it starts can help save you from surprises. Usually, at least. So always have lady products (one or two pads plus a tampon) somewhere in your purse too. Syd and I keep this little bag full of pads, tampons, and panty liners in the car so if bloody hell week begins when we’re at the mall or at work or whatever, we can run to the car and viola.
Beside feminine products, keep a bottle of ibuprofen and an extra pair or undies and pants in your car too. Never know when you’ll need them, on your period or not.
Okay, my lovelies, I’m off to watch some Netflix and wait for my period to come (which will be way to damn soon). I wish you well on your period and every other day. Comment and let us know what you do to survive your period. If you have a significant other, share a story on how they took care of you (or offered to) in this time of need as well.
Here’s a lovely beautiful picture of Sydney and Me when we were both on our periods but had to run errands. Yay, synchronization and Satan invading our bodies.
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